Perspective Plus

I am informed this morning by Fashionologie.com that model Alyona Osmanova, who has appeared on some Big Name Runways previously, has been moved to Ford Models' "plus size" division. Here's one of her cards:





Lovely girl. Do please note her measurements. They actually got me pretty stoked -- they're almost exactly the same as mine! Apparently, I have a future as a plus-size model!!! SO!!! EXCITED!!!!

(You didn't seriously expect a photo of me in my underwear, did you?)

Ford Models!! Call me!!! I'm plus-sized!!

In all seriousness, now. Truly, this is not a post about me being not-plus-sized. But the fact is, I am not plus-sized. I typically wear a size 4. Ms. Osmanova's hips & bust are a very little bigger than mine, and she is half a foot taller than I am. Size 10? I don't think so. Also, since when is size 10 a plus size? WTF kind of math are these people using??

If you, like me, read a lot of fashion magazines & fashion blogs, you know there has been an awful lot of yappita-yappita lately about how "plus-size" models are gaining ground in the fashion world, how magazines are being oh-so-very-inclusive and actually showing "curvy" girls in editorials (I'm not EVEN going to get into how much I hate that as a euphemism, my Words-With-No-Meaning Rant ™ requires more alcohol than I'm willing to take in at nine in the a.m. on a Friday), and blah blah freetobeyouandmefishcakes blah.

Do not get me wrong -- I'm all about women other than Stick-Figure Goddesses being photographed in pretty clothes. Hoo and ray. What's killing me is the sickening, self-congratulatory tone of the industry as they pat themselves on their bony backs. Andre Leon Talley actually referred to Crystal Renn's appearance on the Chanel runway last week as "groundbreaking."

Groundbreaking? This?

What a cow, huh? I cannot believe they squeeeeeeeezed her into something from Chanel.

If this is groundbreaking, it's some pretty shallow ground.

Yay for more inclusive. Yay for more-reality-based depictions of women. Yay for more acceptance for all sorts of shapes & sizes & colors & hairstyles & whatnot. But groundbreaking? Let's not get carried away. Do not, as we say in Texas, piss on my boot and tell me it's raining.

You want groundbreaking? Here:




That's you some groundbreaking, right there. Thank you, Ms. Horne. You are greatly missed.

Photos: FordModels.com, Style Spy, style.com, AP

The Idea/Execution Gap

The idea makes sense, and I understand the inspiration behind it. A woman puts together a nice outfit to go to work every day, but often in the course of said day she needs two types of shoe -- a flat and a heel -- and wouldn't it be cool if you could find shoes you love that had both components. Well, sure, theoretically, I guess. Although not so much if what you end up with is this:

It's not just the colors, which are awful. (And the set comes in a few other color combos, all of which are equally awful, if not worse.) It's not just that they manage to look cheap even on a computer screen, which they do. It's this: usually, when I buy heels, I buy a size 9, sometimes even a 9 1/2, depending on the brand and the shape and other factors. Usually when I buy a flat, I buy an 8 1/2. I think this is true for many of us. Actually, I'd go so far as to say most of us should be more flexible about our shoe sizes and there would be many feet that were happier in their shoes if we were. So. Even if the above shoes weren't some of the butt-ugliest things I've seen in a while, I'd still think this was a bad idea.

Hey. I calls 'em like I sees 'em.

I discovered these because I was poking around on www.endless.com where they have lots of flats & pumps on sale. Personally, I need more high heels like I need a proverbial hole in my curly little head, but a gal can always use good flats. They have a LOT, and a lot of good ones. Click photos for links.

These are Cole Haan, one of my favorite brands. They come in narrow AND wide widths and they are on sale.

All about this color, as you might have guessed.

I know these are desperately trendy, but I like the looks of them. Plus, they actually have a zipper on the back, so putting them on is not a 45-minute process.

Again -- not your basic flat and I kinda like 'em. Woman cannot live on ballerina flats alone, ya know. Just because your shoe doesn't have a heel does not mean it should be devoid of personality.

There's lots more on the website, go check 'em out!