Fashionable Chickens, Modish Eggs

Last week I wrote about what has become the Fashion Disaster That Ate Paris, a.k.a. the Emanuel Ungaro Spring 2010 show. It was Lindsey Lohan's first go-round with the label as its "artistic advisor" and Estrella Archs's first outing as its designer and it has been widely and roundly panned by just about everyone on the planet who buys and wears clothes. (Everyone except Bloomingdales, remarkably, according to WWD.)

I said in my review that I'd checked out Archs's previous work on her website and found her to be promising. And it turns out that Ms. Archs presented her own namesake collection in Paris last week. When I had a look at Archs's most recent collection, some questions were answered, but a few new ones were posed.

The collection is almost entirely black and white, which I found interesting, given how much color there was in the Ungaro show and in Archs's previous collections. There are a few shots of gold and two pieces in navy, but otherwise -- completely black and white. This is interesting, and poses a chicken-or-egg kind of question. As far as I know, Archs was brought in to design Ungaro fairly late in the process (she only had about a month to pull this show together, with Lindsay's -- ahem -- "help"), and common sense tells us that her own show would probably have been well down the pipeline by that point and the color scheme would already have been decided upon. But it seems odd to me that a designer so at home with color would arbitrarily decide to eliminate all of it, and for that to coincidentally happen at the same time she suddenly became responsible for designing a house famous for its unrestrained use of color. Was Archs planning on the black & white looks for her own line from the get-go? Or did she make the decision to go all black and white as an attempt to separate her namesake line from the Ungaro one?

I found the clothes in this collection less promising than in the previous ones I'd seen. They didn't strike me as particularly thoughtful. And again this makes me ask: Was this the direction she was headed anyway, or is it the result of her split focus? We'll probably never know unless Archs herself decides to tell us and my guess is one glance down at the contract she signed with the PTB at Ungaro is going to dissuade her from that.


At least she didn't bother with the sparkly pasties.

although maybe she should have.

I just don't get clothes like this -- I don't understand why you'd show them. If you're John Galliano or Jean Paul Gaultier you can get away with throwing stuff down the runway you've no intention of producing, just as a way of getting across whatever point you're trying to make that season. But if you're a relatively unknown young designer stepping into the shoes of a giant (and those shoes are accompanied by a skinny blonde Hollywood albatross around your neck, to boot), I think it behooves you to not make clothes that are so easily dismissable as gimmickry and foolishness. To be fair, I love the look of that gauzy Fortuny-pleated fabric and the caryatid shape of that top, but come on! What is with that funky triangle? And, hello! See-through!!

But then I saw this dress

and this... outfit

such as it is, and I thought, "Hang on, is this swimwear?" Is that white dress actually a swimsuit and a cover-up? And the black... number is maybe a bikini and a very glam mangotinis-by-the-pool ensemble? Maybe. But I don't know.

See, this strikes me as a serious design flaw: if I cannot tell if your clothing is for the beach or for a cocktail party, you are doing something wrong.


This drives me crazy.

The idea that you would take the time and trouble to cut and construct a dress with all those different pieces of fabric going different directions -- which is a fantastic opportunity to use your construction to create something that's going to flatter almost every shape -- the fact that you do this and it STILL makes this 102-pound model look as boxy and shapeless as a Woodstock lesbian in her firewood-chopping clothes? That's disgraceful. Most of the wannabes on Project Runway could make this out of placemats and licorice whips in 8 hours and it would look better than this.

And this?

This is just sloppy and half-assed.



I like the idea of this although not the execution and AGAIN -- sloppy fit. I hate that sleeve.

This is almost working for me, but I'm having bit of trouble with the proportions.

I find that neckline cut in too far and too low -- it gives her linebacker shoulders and heaven help you if you have an actual bust and want to wear that.


This is not almost working.

That is just a mess. A big, shiny, crinkly mess. Archs needs to go back to year one of design school and re-take the class on sleeves. I have a major problem with her sleeves.


Remember the other day when I commented on the navy number from the Ungaro show and said it looked like it had been dropped in from another collection that had nothing to do with that one? I think I wasn't far from right:

Although, to be fair, I like this. I always love when someone uses navy or another color instead of black, and I am partial to that egg-shaped, cocoon-y jacket. What it has to do with that little swimsuit/negligée/whatever it is at the top, however, is anyone's guess.


Here I am just baffled:

I can't imagine it's easy to find an armless model, but I applaud Ms. Archs on her efforts to show diversity on the runway and... I'm sorry, what's that? She HAS arms? You just can't SEE them? Seriously?

Well, that's just dumb.


Final insult to injury:

Pole dancer shoes! GAHHHHHH, what is with the pole dancer shoes these days? My theory is that a fledgling designer doesn't have the time & money to spend on creating & constructing high-design shoes, so she goes with something she thinks will be neutral and hopefully not distract from the clothing. Maybe the reasoning is that these clear vinyl shoes will sort of disappear and not compete with the clothing design. Well, I'm here to tell all of you people who might be tempted to pull this trick: they DON'T disappear, they DO distract, and what's more, they are hurting my feelings!!! Stop it!!

Sadly, I'm actually less hopeful for Ungaro and for Estrella Archs on her own having seen this collection. I fear she is not a strong enough designer at this point in her career to take on the challenge of re-working a very well-known label without letting it interfere with and hinder her own line. It cannot be easy to try to do both things at once -- it takes a designer with an extremely well-developed point of view or a mammoth talent, like John Galliano or Karl Lagerfeld, to pull it off successfully.

Of course, she may not have to worry about it. The people running Ungaro seem to have no trouble treating their designers like disposable utensils -- good for one fast food meal and then into the bin they go -- so Ms. Archs may soon be able to concentrate fully again. I hate to say it, but I think it would be the best thing that could happen to her.


Images: Elle.com

Wherein Style Spy's Furry Darling Illustrates Her Excellent Taste

I came home, I dropped my bag on the floor, I walked into the kitchen to grab something. When I walked back into the living room, I found this.

(I apologize for the poor quality of the video, this is as good as I could make it without spending money on editing software.)

Smart cat. Very smart cat.

Shop the Closet

There's a whole lot of good stuff available on Style Spy's Closet! Newly posted goodies include these black patent Stuart Weitzman pumps.




Also still available:


red Vittadini boots




Marc Jacobs skirt






ivory Pollini sandals





So go!! Shop!!!!!

Hooray!!!

All Walks Beyond the Catwalk from ALL WALKS BEYOND THE CATWALK on Vimeo.

Find out more about this project at All Walks Beyond the Catwalk


(Thanks to Polka Dot for her heads-up on this project!)

Hubris

There's a line by Jane Austen, from her novel "Emma." It goes something like, "Vanity working on a weak mind produces every kind of mischief."

Also, in some cases, really, really bad clothes.

The guy who is the CEO of Emanuel Ungaro is named Mounir Moufarrige, and not long ago he replaced Esteban Cortazer, who's been designing the line since 2007 (Ungaro himself retired in 2002). Actually, he was forced to replace Cortazar, who stepped down in the face of one of the most controversial hirings in the fashion world in the last long little time. Moufarrige & the PTB at the company he works for hired -- of all people -- Lindsay Lohan as "artistic adviser" for Ungaro. Whatever that might be.

Well, let's be honest -- what that might be is an extremely ill-considered bid for publicity. Ill-considered not least because not only is Ms. Lohan no longer the hot celebrette du jour, but she is not and never has been considered a stylistic force or innovator in the way some young actresses have been -- Sienna Miller, for example, or the Olsen twins. Lohan is chiefly a product of the Rachel Zoe School of Non-Style, with a soupçon of faux lesbian tossed on in an attempt to add spice. (Dude -- I've known a lot of lesbians in my life. One publicity stunt "relationship" with another girl doesn't make you a lesbian. Or even bisexual. Puh-leeze. Ask Anne Heche, she'll tell you.)

Long story short, Sr. Cortazar said, "No, gracias," to the idea of an arranged marriage with a muse (If you have a muse forced upon you, does that make you "be-mused"? Because he certainly wasn't "a-mused." Get it?? HAH! I crack me up!) and took it on the ol' heel & toe. So Moufarrige hired a Spanish designer named Estrella Archs to replace Cortazar and, presumably, aid Ms. Lohan in bringing her artistic vision to life. (::ahem:: For those of you who may not know, so far Ms. Lohan's artistic vision has been applied to a brand of self-tanner, and a line of leggings. Yes.)

Now, Ungaro has never been my thing, strictly speaking, but I appreciate Emanuel Ungaro's work and I thought Cortazar was getting his feet under him and heading in the right direction. (I like him even more now that he's displayed some rarely-seen-in-the-fashion-world huevos, and I hope he finds a design home with people who appreciate him soon.) Cortazar was the house's fourth-count-'em-fourth designer since Ungaro himself retired. (Before him came Peter Dundas, now wreaking havoc at Pucci, someone called Vincent Darré, and Giambatista Valli, who is enjoying quite the hot little career on his own.) So. These guys at Ungaro are either insane, idiots, or in desperate need of some Ritalin, because that is NO WAY to carry forward an established house after its namesake retires. Find someone, give him the job, and then let him sit on the egg for a while, for pete's sake. Sure sometimes a miracle occurs and you get Ghesquiere at Balenciaga (POOF! Instant success!), but mostly you gotta give a guy a minute. Especially when the namesake in question has such a strong identity from the past -- for most of us over the age of 30, when you say, "Emanuel Ungaro," what pops into our head is something like this:

Because even though Ungaro started his career at Balenciaga (with the actual Balenciaga), what most of us remember is his exuberant party-girl 80's stuff, full of color and frills and ruching and the borderline abandonment of good taste. And having looked at Archs' website, I can definitely see why she was considered for the job -- there is a lot in there that makes me think she could pick up the Ungaro baton and run with it. Dresses like this:

Which is pretty and has that same come-sit-at-our-table-and-share-our-champagne flirtiness you look for in Ungaro. She does lose the plot occasionally

but I think there's potential there. And since this was the first dress that came down the Ungaro runway the other day

I thought maybe we were on the right track. This dress here isn't going to turn the fashion world upside down, but it's filled with classic Ungaro elements. This next dress was also fun

Although it would have been better had it fit better, and I'm wondering if it isn't just the dress above with the ruffle-that-ate-Pittsburgh removed. (I don't usually go here too much, but dayum, that model is skinny. She's even skinnier than the usual model-skinny. Someone give that girl a taco!)

So, a decent start, but then everything went to hell:

What on earth?


Ungaro was famous for his use of color -- he adored fuchsia -- and I love color, too, but...

No. Lord, no.


This dress is fine

but this is not

If you can't make something as simple as this shrug fit properly, you are in trouble.

And where the hell did this come from? This looks like it dropped in from someone else's colection entirely.

Gimmickry. Gimmickry is a terrible thing in clothes.

And pasties. There were several looks featuring sequined pasties. ::sigh:: I probably don't need to say this, but if at any point in your life you find yourself seriously considering appearing in public in pasties -- sequined or otherwise -- go pour yourself a good stiff drink and go directly to bed until the urge passes.

I guess they had extra pasties and it seemed a shame to waste them. Or it's an homage to Eddie Munster? I dunno. Just terrible


It's a shame, really. The collection has been pretty universally panned and apparently all the editors and buyers (the ones who bothered to show up, that is) left the show holding their noses. Scuttlebutt has it that you will not see these clothes in either fashion magazines or retail outlets next year. The clothes aren't good enough for me to feel outraged by that, but I can't help wondering if the reaction would have been quite so negative without the Lohan element. A lot of folk in the fashion world seemed to take this appointment almost personally and there was quite a lot of huffy umbrage and expectations of failure expressed. The cool kids are definitely not ready to let Lindsay sit at their table, and I fear Ms. Archs' career is going to suffer from the association. Hopefully she'll pass quickly through the revolving door that Ungaro has become and emerge without too much damage, and given their record over the last few years that seems likely.

And Ms. Lohan can return to artistically expressing herself in spray tan.



Images: style.com, decadesinc.com, estrellarchs.com

Live Girls!!

Alexander McQueen is streaming his Paris fashion show today at 8:15 Paris time (that's 1:15 pm where I am, in Central time). If you're interested (and I don't see how you couldn't be!), you can check it out on his website. This ought to be pretty cool.

When to Say When

It's one of the eternal questions. Why are we here? Where did we come from? What is the meaning of life?



How many black cardigans is too many black cardigans?

I would like to be able to tell you that I have accumulated this fairly impressive collection of inky knitwear accidentally -- that I keep forgetting I already have black cardigans at home and in episode after episode of early-onset Fashion Alzheimer's I keep buying them, like my dearly departed Grandma Stella did with boxes of band-aids (we discovered dozens of them in her bathroom cabinet after her death); but I have no such excuse. As a matter of fact, with occasional very rare exceptions I have a pretty accurate wardrobe tracker in my head. No, I've done this on purpose.

They're all different, of course. It's like the white blouses: they come in so handy, you really can't have too many of them, they're a go-to item that you have for ages, and each one has some variation in design or fiber that makes it perfect in a different way. A gal needs options, doesn't she? Like the White Blouse Collection, the Black Cardigan Collection is justified. Each of these items is slightly different from the others and each serves a specific purpose. Let's explore, shall we?



From left to right:
The first one is the newest (tag still attached, as you can see). Superfine super-soft merino wool, very long (to my knees) & slouchy. I'm very into slouchy right now. Next, wool/cashmere blend, made like a grandpa cardigan. Heavyweight and very cozy, good for when it's really chilly. Next, two-ply cashmere, crew-neck. Next, two-ply cashmere, v-neck. This one is quite fitted, I often wear it as a top without a shirt underneath it. Next, short-sleeved cashmere with fox collar. Next, cotton knit with white tipped collar and placket. Lastly, cotton baby cable.

Okay, well, not exactly lastly. After I took that photo & was putting them back in their sweater bags and drawers (because I hasten to reassure you that I do NOT hang my sweaters and I beg you will not, either), I remembered these:



The one of the left is a boiled wool sweater coat with embroidery, and the other sweater coat is big and chunky and soooo soft, it's like a bathrobe.

So.

I have a lot of black cardigans.

I feel no regret about any of my black cardis -- like I said before, I get a lot of wear out of them and it's good to always have just the thing. As a matter of fact, I've misplaced one -- the short-sleeved Banana Republic one that I bought a couple of summers ago that I fell very in love with, and I'm pretty pissed about it. I really miss that thing. But I think I may call a black cardi moratorium for the foreseeable future. I think now is when to say when.

How about you guys? What do you have multiples (or even too many) of?