Sunday, April 1, 2007

Prom on Planet Poledance

So I'm trolling around on the web doing some research for a post to be named later when I come across this:




on edressme.com. And the name of said... garment (I can't in good conscience call this a dress) is: White Lace Sexy Prom Dress.

Prom dress?

PROM dress???????

In what universe is this an acceptable ensemble for a prom?? Is said prom attendee graduating from Skanky Ho High? Is she Paris Hilton's daughter??? My god, back in my day, yes, the prom dresses were bad. But they were If-There-Were-Helium-In-Those-Sleeves-She'd-Be-Airborne Bad, not For-Five-Bucks-Extra-You-Get-To-Keep-My-Panties Bad.



Yes, friends. That is me, next to the bride, in petal pink taffeta circa 1983. Not a prom dress per se, but I didn't go to my proms because I was the Weird Smart Girl in high school (and Weird Smart Girls don't date until they get into their 20's and all hell breaks loose). I was, however, a bridesmaid for my friend Roy Beth the summer after our freshman year of college -- the one and only time I have served in such a capacity. Roy Beth was the captain of my high school drill team, of which I was a member -- we were Golden Goblinettes together, and I still have the blue & gold pom-poms to prove it stashed away at my mom's house. (And I'll have you know -- I saw Roy Beth in 2002 at our 20-year reunion, and she and Eddie are still married. How cool is that?) At any rate, I think this conveys the early-80's prom dress zeitgeist pretty accurately.

But back to Prom on Planet Poledance... just in case the white version of the dress is too... virginal, they do offer it in other colors:



As though that helps.

Seriously -- I know there's a lot of bad clothing out there and I have mostly come to terms with it. I know that there is a whole industry built upon designing and selling clothes that can make the most corn-fed gal-next-door look like she's shacked up with Harvey Keitel in a purple suit somewhere.

But ladies... do not take it to the prom. That's just tacky.

Photos: edressme.com, Style Spy

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3 comments:

amisare waswerebeen said...

Wow. That's not even enough material for a decent handbag. My daughter would not be wearing that if she was wanting to see the light of day ever again. Though, I wouldn't say that her mother wouldn't have tried to get away with a dress of similar size as a teenager.

r sorrell said...

Hmmm... I like checking out the stuff on edressme, but some of their descriptions are... ahem... interesting. I'm sure those "prom" dresses are also listed under "Tango" and "sexy" dresses. Have you seen some of their "casual work dresses?" I'm sure they'd be fine if you officed in the back room of a men's club. I'd suggest that edressme should start throwing in a free pair of panties with this type of dress, to prevent any mishaps.

StyleSpy said...

amisare -- So glad there are some moms out there who would rather their daughters not aspire to hoochiedom. A grateful nation thanks you.

R -- I've done some tango dancing & I have to say -- this dress is uniquely unsuited to that. Unless your lead is supposed to use that trailing rag attached to the hem as some sort of steering or dragging device to move you across the floor...

I like the free panties idea, although I shudder to think what they'd look like.