Fun in the Sun

I do not envy the modern fashion designer. I mean, these people work like slaves anymore. Spring/Summer, Fall/Winter, Pre-Fall, Resort... it's just one continuous fashion show. When do they sleep? It's hard to believe they're not all cocaine addicts; hell, I need extra stimulants just to look at all the pictures from all the shows, let alone have to do all that designing.

And yet, some of them manage to crank out show after show of wonderful stuff. Like my buddy John Galliano designing for Dior. Based on his last couple of resort collections, I wonder if this isn't Galliano's favorite season. He just seems to have so much FUN with resort. He's still very much working his retro, Palm Beach, Babe Paley thing, but I really thought a lot of the clothes were extremely wearable.

That is a GREAT dress. That is a dress just about any woman could wear and love, and depending on how you dressed it up or down, that dress could go anywhere from work to a lunch meeting to an afternoon wedding. Terrific.

Galliano loves color and I adore him for that. I don't think there was a single black garment in this entire show.

Beautiful suit. There is just no arguing with a suit like that. Gorgeous.

Okay, yeah, the skirt is a little over the top, but we've seen much crazier from Galliano, and the proportions are really good. It's not completely around the bend -- you could wear that, provided you had the touch of bravado it would require, and not look like a circus freak. And that jacket is to die for.

Lovely dress, lovely color, lovelylovelylovely.

Yes, this is very much a special occasion outfit, but who could not love it? Look at that skirt (or are they pants?) billowing out behind her! So dreamy!

Another beautiful, wearable suit.

Yeah, buddy. Full-on 1972 cocktails by the pool and I'm kah-razy about it. Every woman needs some leopard print, is what I say. Do not be afraid of the kitty-cat.

But back to earth -- everything about this is good.

Obviously his collection very inspired by a very specific stereotype -- the pampered Palm Beach aging-not-quite-as-gracefully-as-possible socialite. The theme seemed to extend even to the makeup. Maybe it's just me, but scroll back up & take a look at the models' faces. I'm wondering if the makeup artist behind all these looks purposefully gave them that over-Botoxed glaze. The eyebrows all seem just a liiiiiiittle too high, as though they're on their second or third face lifts, and the lips are just a liiiiiiittle too full, as though they didn't know when to stop with the lip-plumping injections. Maybe it's just me, but I thought it was humorous, and it does seem like something Galliano would do. And, along those lines, when I looked at the backstage photos, yet another cautionary tale presented itself.

Here we have Christina Aguilera (along with the Funky Little Fashion Troll himself) -- formerly one who favored Amazonian hair extensions so expansive that small children could sleep comfortably in them and skintight leather leggings so low in the rise that calling them pants was a gross exaggeration. Ms. Aguilera has married, brought forth progeny, and seems hell-bent on respectable-izing her image. However, troweling on bad foundation, plucking your eyebrows into mannequin-like arches and sqeeeeeeezing yourself into a too-small (satin!) suit with cleavage that threatens to interfere with your earrings is not the way to go about it.

This, sweetheart, is how it's done:

Behold Lauren Hutton (here with Jacqueline Schnabel, also no slouch in the sophisticated glamour department). I don't now how old Lauren is now, I don't care. Most 20-somethings I see could take a few pointers from this effortlessly, timelessly elegant woman.

Here's another lesson in Why Trying Too Hard Usually Backfires:

Jennifer Lopez (who has apparently donated her lips to charity or something) standing around looking terribly glam and terribly uncomfortable. Goodness, my hairline hurts just looking at her. It's all so perfectly, robotically matchy-matchy that she's managed to take an assortment of truly beautiful clothing & accessories and make them yawn-inducing. Here's another way of going:

Goodness knows, I do get tired of Lou Doillon's funky gamine bit, but at least she looks like she can sit down in her outfit, and like she might actually have spent her day doing something besides having individual hairs shellacked to her skull. A little imperfection can be an awfully good thing.



Photos: Style.com