But He Didn't Stick Around and Make Me Coffee In the Morning

Well, evidently the Want Monster is paying me nighttime visits now, because yesterday I woke up with a Want-On.

You know how sometimes you'll see something and it'll percolate in your brain for a while without your really realizing it and then all of a sudden a vision will pop into your head and you'll be obsessed by it?

No? Really? Is that just me?

At any rate, that's what happened this week. I woke up Tuesday morning and I desperately needed a belt. But not just any belt -- a wiiiiiiiiide belt. More of a corselet, really, something so wide that it becomes a piece of clothing on its own. Here, I believe, is what's been percolating in my squishy little fashion brain:

Dolce & Gabbana. I don't even have to tell you how crazy that coat makes me, do I? It's red, it's leather, it's metallic... Oh, I think I need a moment alone...

More D&G. Leopard-print fur wrapped in tulle. I might faint.

Missoni. Dangit, that thing is art. I am besotted with this belt. I woke up thinking about that belt.

I saw these and loved them at the time (the Fall 2007). The D&G stuff has been everywhere -- every magazine I've gotten for the last few months has had huge double-page spreads featuring these belts, and they've really grown on me. So now I feel like I want one.

"Feel like I want one" might be putting it a bit mildly. "Foaming at the mouth for one" is perhaps a more accurate turn of phrase.

Belts have been very important the last couple of seasons, but I haven't been as belt-focused as some of the editors have told me I should be. I have snagged a couple of great patent-leather (no surprise there) ones that I've gotten a ton of use from, but so far the "statement" belt has yet to grab me. Now, all of a sudden, wham!

I'm blaming the tango classes.

Look at that Missoni belt -- wearing it would feel like having someone's hands wrapped around your ribcage, holding you. This is a feeling I love, and am being reminded of it at this tango class I'm taking, having a man wrap his arm around my waist and glide me around the room. Suddenly, I want to wear a big ol' neon sign that says, "Place hands here!" and that belt would sure do the trick, huh?

So off I went in search of that lovely Missoni creation, and it wasn't hard to find. Popped right up on Net-A-Porter:

(Seriously, it's like a piece of sculpture, isn't it? Amazing...)

and all it'll cost me is $1486.00. (Plus S&H, bien sûr.)

Ummmmmm, okay. Maybe not.

Seriously -- 1500 beans is a helluva lot of money for some leather strips to wrap around your waist. I am seriously considering heading off to the Tandy Leather shop to buy some laces and a grommet puncher and try a little high-fashion D-I-Y. But it's a bargain compared to the D&G, which, near as I can tell, is going for over $3000.

Yep. Three Gs. Three large. Next!

This is a nifty little perfed gold leather Fendi number that I really love, but it's still going to set me back $635.00. Nope.

Miu Miu. Fantastic belt. Can someone tell me why, though, belts are so dingdong expensive??

At this point, it's time for Style Spy to fall back & re-group, and hit the Interwebs on her trusty PowerBook to see what she might actually be able to afford. I share the results with you. (As always, click for links.) (Also, another couple of pricey ones sneaked into this batch, but they were so pretty I had to show them to you. Sorry!)

I think this is gorgeous, and love how soft the leather looks. I think the soft leather is really important in my case because while I do have a rather small waist, the pear-shaped part of me flares out rather dramatically underneath it, so a belt that's too rigid tends to cut into me.

I'm a sucker for woven leather.

Nice & wide, with glossy buckles.

I'm very intrigued by this one -- it only has one skinny belt across the back, so I think it would be very forgiving to wear. On the other hand, I'd probably feel like I could only wear it with a dress because that skinny strap would never, ever stay met up with the waist of whatever skirt or pants I was wearing and I would be fussing with it constantly.

This is definitely on my list. I love the triple straps, the toughness of it, and the fact that it's under 60 bucks. I'm very likely to be ordering this soon. I have a lot of great white blouses that could be really jazzed up by this bad boy.

Again, extremely intrigued but mighty unsure. Perhaps a little too Lingerie Dept. waist cincher, huh? On the other hand, could be very sexy with the right thing.

This is the bargain of the bunch, from Newport News (go ahead -- click to see how cheap it is!) and I am definitely ordering it. It runs the risk of being a little too Mr. Pearl, but I can make it Dita von Teese.

Fabulous black patent -- possibly perfect. From Ferragamo, a company that knows its way around a piece of leather.

More patent. Really love this, and the obi style would make it very adjustable.

Similar belt, in softer leather. Great-looking.

Another killer bargain from Newport News. (Also, how much do I love that blouse? Style Spy does adore a bishop sleeve.)

An important note: I am 5'6", flat-chested, and long-waisted, which means I can get away with a pretty wide belt. If you are petite or short-waisted, this is a much trickier look to pull off, especially if you have a prominent bust. If any of those descriptors hold true for you, scale back on the width. The top of your belt should not be in the same place as the bottom of your bra, unless you are going for the Rennaissance Faire beer wench look, in which case why are you even reading this blog?

So there you go. A buncha belts. If anyone spies any other fabulous ones, I hope you'll let me know. I know I'm supposed to be telling you about the Spring Collections this week and I promise I'm going to, but this belt thing just took over my brain. Fashion is a fickle mistress, you know.



Photos: Style.com, Net-A-Porter.com, NeimanMarcus.com, ShopBop.com, Bluefly.com, Saks.com, yoox.com, Newport-News.com, Armaniexchange.com