Tuesday, December 9, 2008

And You Thought the Fuzzy Cardigan Was Bad...

Behold Pixie Geldof, attending -- ironically -- the British Fashion Awards in London last month.


Good googly-moogly.

First of all, let me just say that I don't absolutely hate the coat the way I imagine a lot of people are going to. I fancy I could actually rock that coat -- I'd just wear something long, lean, monochromatic, and super slick underneath it. Say some narrow black trousers & a black turtleneck with my black Goliath superhigh-heled boots. I know not everyone is going to see the potential in the coat (
the Daily Mirror compared it to a silverback gorilla, which is pretty damned funny), and Pixie sure isn't helping matters with her other choices, but the coat (which is from Mulberry) is honestly the least of my problems with this outfit.

The most of my problems? Oh, that's tough to say. I mean, talk about an embarrassment of riches. Starting from the top, I'm going to have to loudly decry that chain-mail bra top, the sort of thing that you would wear if you were a hooker with a Mists of Avalon obsession. Truly awful. Working our way down -- Pixie, honey, the leggings are supposed to go under things. They aren't actually supposed to function as pants. Especially if you, like Pixie, aren't exactly a pixie, if you understand me.

But possibly the thing about this ensemble that tragifies me the most is the shoes. Ms. Geldof is famous & loaded & hooked up & going to events like the dingdong British Fashion Awards and
these are what she comes up with???

Pleaser Women's Sky-302 Sandal

I swear these are what she's wearing, I swear.

I mean, seriously -- what the HELL?

I don't know that Pixie here is famous for anything other than being the unfortunately-named (Her full given name is Little Pixie Geldof. She has sisters named Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, and
Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. Nope, not making that up.) party-girl offspring of celebrities (her dad is Sir Bob, he of the Boomtown Rats and Live Aid), but surely she has enough spare scratch that she doesn't have to buy her shoes at some sort of pole dancers' Oxfam shop. And if there is in fact a designer name scrolled in gilt down that insole, said designer should be taken out and flogged with strips of the clear vinyl used to make the upper of that so-called "shoe."

This whole outfit just hurt my feelings like crazy. Perhaps the fact that Pixie is only 18 is a mitigating factor. With luck, this bad judgment can be attributed to youthful inexperience and in time unfortunate incidents like this will become less frequent. Fingers crossed.

Photos: www.redcarpet-fashionawards.com

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Duchesse said...

I had a fake fur coat like the job on the left, bought in the early 80s on the convergence of PMS, a breakup, and a payday. I felt glam in it; compassionate friends did not tell me what they thought. One night, coming home from a party, I was carrying a pot of soup for a friend, in the passenger seat of his car, and dumped it the coat. When I announced its demise, they promptly told me it was the most godawful garment in creation.

ChloeMireille said...

I agree, that coat is the least horrendous thing about that outfit.

Scarily enough, if the leggings were swapped out for a tacky miniskirt, she could at least pass for a stripper on her way to work.

March said...

Look, I finally followed you over here!

Um, I have a total weakness for big furry things like that, although I think they look best on tall people and I'm not. I have my share of Mongolian lamb but try to confine it to the neckline, and I have a giant mohair cardi-coat, but that's almost a joke. I would love that coat ... thingy, but agree it needs to be worn with an EXTREMELY streamlined outfit, like slim black pants and black ankle boots with a decent heel.