I was online doing some virtual shopping, looking for some boots I'm semi-obsessed with (about which more later.) I didn't find them, but I did find some doozies. I haven't done this for a while, so just for fun...
(You can click on the photos for links. If you do so, I'm assuming it is purely for research purposes!)
If a person ate too much whimsy and threw it up and then made boots out of it? This is what they'd get.
Doc Martens. With lace. How... "clever." Are you tempted by these? Ask yourself these questions:
1. Are you over 23 years old?
2. Do you have a job that is not in a record store?
3. Does anyone ever refer to you as "Mom"?
If the answer to any of these questions is "yes," it's time to put away the Docs. Re-live your anarchist youth in the privacy of your own home with your Sex Pistols albums if you'd like. But if you're not living in a squat, dump the Docs.
This is what happens when elves read Vogue.
From our old friends at Nascar:
I couldn't decide if the blue ones or the black ones were more eye-scathing, so I posted them both. (You're welcome!)
Sometimes Gwen Stefani surprises me. Sometimes she just upsets me.
These are from a brand called "Helle Comfort." I don't care how comfortable they are -- I don't care if they come boxed with a pair of angels to massage my feet -- yech, those are ugly boots.
Proof that just because it's expensive doesn't make it good. One thousand dollars worth of ugly from Proenza Schouler.
This is ugly mostly in its intention, which is to rip off the YSL cage booties that I've been in love with for a year now. These are certainly more affordable (under 100 bucks), but I can't do it. When I walked, tapping of the heels would say, "Fake! Fake! Fake!" with every step I took.
For those days when you just can't decide between ankle warmers & sandals.
Sometimes Naturalizer makes surprisingly cute shoes. This is not one of those times.
This was just a short survey, friends -- and this was just the ankle boots. If you, like me, are shopping around for more boots this fall -- be careful out there.
15 comments:
My eyes! MY EYES!!!
I'm loving the teal blue boots.
Don't judge me.
The lace Docs are a bit gross, but I disagree with your overall assessment. They're not YOUR style, obviously, but I do see some people, who are grownups and employed, work the Doc in a way that doesn't scream "punk goth layabout." It can be done.
And didn't Yohji Yamamoto do a whole collection footed with classic Docs?
Hahaha! The last, multi-colored pair are EXACTLY like the ones that my father let me buy when he took me snow-boot shopping in 1966 when my mother had a headache & couldn't supervise! (Except mine were flats). I LOVED those boots -- but then again, I was just a little kid.
I kinda like the studded ones! Don't judge me either...
Meanwhile, check my blog. You won!
I agree about the YSL, the association with the real thing would unfortunately always be there..
Hahah. I can see why :)
Haaargh. And it's not that hard to make a nice boot.
I agree, some of these are not very nice to look at!
clothedmuch.blogspot.com
Funny post. The first one is really scary.
LOL!! These should be banned!
BTW, what do you think of the Alexander McQueen spring shoe-boot-hoof? I love the clothes but I can't stomach those shoes.
oh no, those legwarmer/sandals r a bit scary hehehe funny post! :)
xoxo
natalieoffduty.blogspot.com
I was all ready to compose an ode to Docs and register my undying disappointment with your facile dismissal of aforementioned footwear when I read CompassRose's comment. I couldn't have said it better. I'm a woman who doesn't look her (around 40) age, but neither do I look 20. I have a very responsible high-paying job and yes, I loove Docs. Have 5 pairs classic, diff. colours. Mix and match with jeans or the occasional funky outfit. Don't wear them all the time, but definitely wear them. Yes, to work. They look great and my friends love them. Embrace your docs... you do NOT have to look like a clueless punk princess... ;) (and I agree, the lace ones are just WRONG :)
Wow, those are some real doozies....
Doc Martens with lace have been around for a while, I'm pretty sure. I guess you've not been slumming before and have no idea that they come in different styles?
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