I was online doing some virtual shopping, looking for some boots I'm semi-obsessed with (about which more later.) I didn't find them, but I did find some doozies. I haven't done this for a while, so just for fun...
(You can click on the photos for links. If you do so, I'm assuming it is purely for research purposes!)
If a person ate too much whimsy and threw it up and then made boots out of it? This is what they'd get.
Doc Martens. With lace. How... "clever." Are you tempted by these? Ask yourself these questions:
1. Are you over 23 years old?
2. Do you have a job that is not in a record store?
3. Does anyone ever refer to you as "Mom"?
If the answer to any of these questions is "yes," it's time to put away the Docs. Re-live your anarchist youth in the privacy of your own home with your Sex Pistols albums if you'd like. But if you're not living in a squat, dump the Docs.
This is what happens when elves read Vogue.
From our old friends at Nascar:
I couldn't decide if the blue ones or the black ones were more eye-scathing, so I posted them both. (You're welcome!)
These are from a brand called "Helle Comfort." I don't care how comfortable they are -- I don't care if they come boxed with a pair of angels to massage my feet -- yech, those are ugly boots.
Proof that just because it's expensive doesn't make it good. One thousand dollars worth of ugly from Proenza Schouler.
This is ugly mostly in its intention, which is to rip off the YSL cage booties that I've been in love with for a year now. These are certainly more affordable (under 100 bucks), but I can't do it. When I walked, tapping of the heels would say, "Fake! Fake! Fake!" with every step I took.
For those days when you just can't decide between ankle warmers & sandals.
Sometimes Naturalizer makes surprisingly cute shoes. This is not one of those times.
This was just a short survey, friends -- and this was just the ankle boots. If you, like me, are shopping around for more boots this fall -- be careful out there.