Is Greasy The New Black?

I'm wondering what it is about these ads that is supposed to make me want to buy the products...



I'll grant you -- Eva Mendes is a gorgeous woman with a ferocious body. But... yeccch. I would never call myself a clean freak (and neither would you if you saw my kitchen floor), but this is just gross. I am utterly turned off by the looks of this, and the thing that really, really drives me crazy is that I want to pull that hair off her face! Don't you know this poor girl stood there for god knows how long while a team of photo stylists massaged her head with Crisco and then one by one arranged those locks of hair on her face to give them juuuuuuuust the right air of spontaneous, tousled perfection. And then she had to stand there some more while they took the photos and you KNOW it had to drive her crazy, that she was DYING to just reach up and PUSH THAT HAIR OFF HER FACE!!!! See, that's all I can think about when I look at this ad -- I do not think, "Boy those are cute jeans." I do not think, "Hmmm, I wonder if my ass would look that good in those jeans." (Puh-leez...) I think, "God, someone get that hair off her face!!!!" To me, that is not effective advertising.

I also wonder, what goes through a young woman's mind when she agrees to do ads like this? Specifically, a young actress's mind. Models model, that's what they do. But, presumably Ms. Mendes is working toward a long career as an actress, presumably she would like to be respected for her work, presumably she would like to play the sorts of roles that are typically considered "Oscar bait." Appearing oiled up like a sardine and splayed more-than-half-naked in every American magazine not specifically marketed to children doesn't seem to me the straightest path to that goal.

But I'm probably wrong -- what do I know from Hollywood? Nudity and public displays of sexuality are so commonplace anymore that they probably don't work against someone in the way that they used to. And maybe Ms. Mendes harbors no such pretensions -- maybe she's just getting hers while she can and who can blame her? If I had that body, I might also be pretty tempted to paste it onto the largest billboard someone offered me, especially if they were tossing out the kind of cabbage I'm guessing you get from a mega-company like Calvin Klein. So who am I to judge?



I know that some people will interpret this photo as Ms Mendes undressing the guy, but I think she's just slipping off him and clutching his underwear in an attempt to stay put. Sorry, but I think it's a lost cause, Eva. Just give up and slide on down.

Images: Stylefrizz.com