The Black Strapless Brigade

My vote for greatest invention of of the last I dunno how many years has got to be the DVR. No other way would I be able to wade through the television coverage that now surrounds any of the major awards shows. There is a lot of inanity and foolishness to fast forward through (Call me crazy, but I honestly don't care how Jane Krakowski's fiancé proposed to her. All good things to you, sweetie, but really -- don't care.), just so you can hear the four most important words anyone has to say that night: "My dress is by..."

There was, as usual, a lot of black on red at the Golden Globes last night, and what's more it seems like nearly all of it was strapless. I do understand the urge toward the black dress -- I have several myself and have to remind myself to skip over them when browsing, because really, how many do you need? (The answer is "More than you'd think," if you're me.) But unless the dress is either spectacular or a spectacular bomb, it's just going to fade into the mists of memory. Of course, that may well be what some of these ladies were aiming for...

I don't know who she is. This dress sure doesn't make me care.

Julie Bowen. Lovely girl, nice dress, she really does look pretty, it fits well -- she looks like she can actually sit down, and her breasts aren't on display like a Pussycat Doll. Just... unmemorable.

Sophia Loren in Armani Privé. Still glam after all these years, but I have a few quibbles. Namely -- her hairdresser apparently hasn't left the salon or even looked out the window since the mid 80's. And those glasses! Seriously, I think she stole my Grandma Merridy's glasses (around the same time as her hairdresser went underground) and has been wearing them ever since. Someone get the woman to an optician! Still, bringing the va-va-voom like that at her age? Hats off to you, Madame. You are an inspiration.

Speaking of bringing it -- Glenn Close in what I'm going to guess is also Armani (she wears a lot of Armani). Nice work, although not particularly inspired, perfect fit. I guess the one up side of reaching a certain age in Hollywood is that the stylists stop insisting that your clothing fit you like Swarovski-encrusted shrink-wrapping, and you can actually enjoy your chicken Kiev and a glass of champagne without worrying about any major wardrobe crises.

Susan Downey and her husband (mysecretboyfriend) Robert Downey, Jr. This is so conservative for him, and he looks great. If we can just get him into a tie, all will be perfect. She looks beautiful, too, but... ya know. Another strapless black dress, this one sparkly.





Well, here's black strapless with a twist. Julianne Moore in Balenciaga with Tom Ford in one of his own impeccable tuxedos. (Say what you will about the guy, despite his everpresent Miami Vice homage, the man cuts a sharp as hell suit.) I love the fabric of this, which looks like some sort of hammered silk, and I like the idea of it, but it's just not going anywhere. Perhaps it's her terrible, droopy posture that's throwing me off. She's going to get crucified by the Fashion Talking Heads for this, but Julianne Moore does really appear to like fashion -- she wears a lot of Balenciaga and other forward labels.





I don't know who she is. Giant black strapless dress, with somewhat interesting detail. Somewhat.





Carey Mulligan, adorable yet forgettable in Nina Ricci.




Penelope Cruz in Armani Privé. It will surely be one of the Great Fashion Mysteries of 2010 -- how the HELL do you make Penelope Cruz look dumpy???? Well, here's how. Also, what's with the cheerleader hair and makeup? Seriously, looking back on my freshman year of college in the early 80's, all of the girls rushing sororities looked just like this.

Courteney Cox in Victoria Beckham. Impeccable but boring. What excited me most about this was seeing her husband David Arquette, a man famous for having a closet that was the sartorial equivalent of a three-ring circus, look normal, in a nice, neat, no frills tuxedo. Not a hint of tartan or embroidery or sparkly embellishment to be found anywhere. Go, David!

No idea who this is. But the dress is winning. That thing is swamping her like a mudslide. Seriously, she's going to need a tranquilizer dart for that dress or she's not going to make it home alive.

Vera Farmiga in Dolce & Gabbana. Oh, dear. Hint: do not make a mermaid-silhouette gown designed to fit like a second-skin out of fabric heavy enough to be your spinster great aunt's winter bedspread. It will not end well. Also, did no one notice that there is a big ol' rosette right on her boob? Is that some sort of joke?? I'm so not laughing.

It wasn't all black. It wasn't all bad. But it sure as hell wasn't all good. Stay tuned & I'll share my thoughts on a few more tomorrow.


Photos: Style.com, Huffingtonpost.com, celebuzz.com, yahoo.com, goldenglobes.org

Is There a "Z," Pat?

Have you had this experience?

You're watching (god knows why, maybe you're off sick from work and the dog ran away with the remote and you're too feverish to chase after her) Wheel of Fortune. The lovely and talented Vanna White (is she still on that show?) has turned over those brightly-lit letters to reveal the following:

THE WI_ARD OF O_

And the NIMROD who is playing this game and has $12,850, a new car, and an all-expenses paid vacation at the Desert Sands Inn riding on this answer? Is STUMPED. "Is it 'The Wipard of Op? The Wigard of Og? The Wimard of Om? Gosh, Pat, I just don't know!"

So there you lie on the couch, helpless and a little sweaty from your temperature, losing your mind, tearing your hair out, railing at the gods because this IDIOT cannot see what should be as plain as the nose on his face and if you just scream loud enough through your gritted teeth at the television maybe this MORON will hear you and get this right and we can all move on!!!

Yeah. I'm having that feeling right now.

Halston & gals, circa 1977. Notice Shelley Hack & Cheryl Tiegs.

There are all these rumors flying around about who's going to be taking over the design duties at Halston. Most recently the name Olivier Theyskens is coming up. A lot. Evidently Dear Leader Anna Wintour is very into this idea, and folks do listen to Anna.

Now, as you know if you've been reading my blog for any length of time, I adoooooore Olivier Theyskens. I think he may be the most talented designer of his generation. And I think that his tenure at Rochas was an inspired pairing and a golden age, and I'm going to be peeved at Procter & Gamble forever for closing it down. (Backstory: P&G acquired Rochas when they bought Wella, ran it for a few brilliant years with Theyskens making very expensive fashion magic and then decided that they didn't know from fashion, just shampoos & perfumes, and decided to shutter it. Many fashiony tears were shed all over the world, including a few here at Style Spy Central.)

Rochas Fall 06

Now they've apparently entered into a licensing agreement with an Italian company (Gibo) who will once again send the models stomping down the runway with Rochas labels sewn in their garments. Unfortunately, Theyskens is no longer available because he's been designing Nina Ricci since Fall 2007.

Nina Ricci Spring 08

Or is he? See, Theyskens is now leaving Nina Ricci -- Fall 2009 was his last collection there. If I ran the world, the PTB at P&G would crawl over broken glass to Theyskens, cravenly promising him a fabulous new studio, a line of hair care named after him, an adorable Portuguese water dog puppy, or whatever else it took to woo him back.

In the meantime (Lord, this is starting to feel like a re-cap of Gossip Girls, isn't it?) back in 2007 Harvey Weinstein (he of Miramax fame) bought Halston with the idea of re-launching it and turning it into a global style powerhouse. Tamara Mellon, the over-injected president of Jimmy Choo, was a board member and Rachel Zoe, over-hyped no-talent president of her own fan club (Bananas!), was hired as "red carpet consultant." I think it is telling that the person who was hired to design Halston, Marco Zanini, would probably have gotten fewer Google hits than either of those women, considering that he was the person who was putting together the actual clothes.

Halston Fall 08

Jump forward a few seasons and Halston has not made the inroads its investors would have liked it to and Zanini is out of the picture. (And in one more sidenote of incestuous fashion weirdness, Harvey Weinstein is married to Georgina Chapman, one of the designers of the label Marchesa. Marchesa is best-known for its red carpet-wear, but Halston was always better-known for fabulously chic American sportswear, so one can't help wondering exactly who Rachel Zoe was supposed to be supporting here... But no matter. Ms. Zoe is apparently No Longer Associated with Halston, a development I can only see as to the good.)

Now. Here's where it really gets weird. Guess whose name is being bandied about to take over when Rochas re-opens? Yep. Marco Zanini.

Are you still with me? God bless you.

I'm not going to talk about the whole Rochas/Zanini situation right now. That's another topic for another day. The point of this particular post is that while, as stated, I adore Olivier Theyskens and would happily let him design pretty much my whole life, I think he is completely wrong for Halston, and despite the fact that I'm risking the wrath of Anna Wintour, who is no doubt performing powerful magic in front of her Rem Koolhaas-designed voodoo altar, I know who needs to take over designing that house.

These guys:

Jeffrey Costello and Robert Tagliapietra, of their namesake label. The two cutest designing gay lovebird lumberjacks New York has ever produced. Seriously, I just want to go over to their house with a couple of pints of Ben & Jerry's and watch Drew Barrymore movies -- they could not be more adorable.

I fully expect to hear the thunderclap of thousands of fashionistas slapping their foreheads when they read this. "Of course! That's perfect!" you think. "Why didn't Harvey Weinstein think of that???"

Why, indeed?

Listen, these guys are perfect. They made their bones working in jersey, which was one of Halston's favorite media and an absolute must for the label. They do cool, easy, American-chic sportswear. Their last runway show was sponsored by Ultrasuede, for god's sake!!! Am I seriously the only one who sees this???? Here -- I'll show you:

(All these photos are from their last two runway shows.)

I rest my case.

So, please, Harvey, give a girl a break and do yourself a favor. Hire these guys to bring back the late, lamented, dearly beloved house of Halston. Get some good designers to make some fabulous clothes under this label, make it hip & cool again, and rescue one of my longstanding favorite perfumes from the ignominy of drugstore shelves. You'll thank me, I promise.


Photos: mediabistro.com, style.com

Shopportunity -- January 5

Nothing beats the post-holiday letdown blues like tossing a little money around, and what's better than tossing it at fabulous stuff that's ON SALE! To help with that, eLuxury -- which is fast becoming one of my favorite e-tailers -- has further reductions on their sale merch.

Glorious stuff like this:

Marc Jacobs Collection Runway Cowl Neck Dress

I adore this dress. I adored this entire collection. Someone I know should have this dress, especially at less than half its original price!!


Remember these little beauties? They're even more on sale!!

Hollywould Metallic Whitney Ballet Flat

Look at this beautiful thing, from Gaultier

Jean Paul Gaultier Runway Paris Print Turtleneck Top

That is risky, but well worth the risk, if you ask me.


Speaking of my buddy Jean Paul, I waaaaaaaaant this necklace:

Jean Paul Gaultier Ace Necklace

Remember when I told you to buy everything you could get your hands on from Olivier Theyskens' first seasons at Nina Ricci? Now's your chance!!!

Nina Ricci Bias Cut Dress

This is from the preview season, which was a little capsule collection. A perfect black dress -- go to the site to look at the detail photos to really get an idea of the magic of this thing.

Nina Ricci Sweater Dress

This is from the first full season -- it's an iconic, instantly recognizable piece, and looks delicious and snuggly to boot!



What's more glam than opera-length black gloves?

Carolina Amato Gloves Opera-Length Leather Gloves, Red

Opera length RED gloves!!! Stupendous! (There are several other fabulous colors, too, like purple and gold. Yummy.)

So, go! Shop!!

Photos: eLuxury.com

Spring Ahead

Today is the first day of the current New York Fashion Week, and hence the kickoff for London, Milan & Paris Fashion Weeks to follow. Much as I have trouble wrapping my mind around this, the season that will be showing over the next month is Spring/Summer 2008. Oy. I can barely get this week's to-do list dealt with. And there was all kinds of stuff from the Fall shows I still wanted to talk about. Oh, well. I'll just point out a few designers whose shows I'm really looking forward to this time around, with some pics from their last outings...

Marc Jacobs

I absolutely unreservedly adored every single thing about this show, down to the hats & amazing belts, and it seems every fashion editor in the world felt the same way. This sharp, luxe, tailored 1930's-by-way-of-Studio-54 silhouette is everywhere this fall, and hip-hipless hooray -- it's gorgeous. Marc had an eventful year last year (a little rehab with his runway), so I'm wondering if he wants to continue in this mold or throw down something completely new.

Alexander McQueen

I've got two closets. I've got my "A" closet, which has the stuff I wear on a day-to-day basis, and I've got my "B" closet, which has out-of-season and special occasion clothes. Last season's "Dark Magicks" show from McQueen was pretty strictly "B" closet stuff, but it was stunning as usual. Mr. McQueen seems to swing back & forth between "showpiece" collections and ones you can actually put on & walk down the street, so I've got my fingers crossed that he gives us something to put in our "A" closets this time around.

Nina Ricci

Squirming with anticipation to see what my boy Olivier Theyskens brings us for his second full show at Nina Ricci, especially after this gorgeous, breathless inaugural. Theyskens still has my vote for the designer working right now with the most untapped potential -- I predict he's going to be one of the most influential designers of his generation, if only some clever house can support him properly and give him the time & space to unfold. If you had the means and didn't snap up every piece from this collection you could get your hands on, you're a fool. Not only is it stunning, it's going to be museum-worthy in 20 years. Collectors' items all, especially anything with the spiral seaming and raw edges. (It'll be going on sale in the next couple of months -- keep your eyes peeled.) Betcha this will be a very hot ticket in Paris -- they're going to need extra security, and not just for Ms. Witherspoon, sitting front & center.

Anne Klein

Isabel Toledo ROCKED her first collection for the venerated American sportswear label with a runway full of stuff I want to wear RIGHT NOW. Pulled-together, professional, and fierce, every bit of it -- I can't wait to see if the company allows her to continue in this mode.

Burberry Prorsum

I think Christopher Bailey gets better and better every year. This show full of ferocious mod-warrior gauntlet gloves and gorgeous fitted coats embellished with metallics and quilting might have been enough to make Jeanne d'Arc forget the voices in her head.

Comme des Garçons

Rei Kawakubo does pink & girly????? Good googly-moogly!!! At first I thought it was a sign of the Apocalypse, and then I just went with it. And loved it. All these years later, this woman still surprises and enlightens when she designs. Rock on, Rei.

Prada

Oh, I know a lot of people didn't get it, and I've no idea how well it's selling despite the flood of editorial attention this collection has gotten, but I absolutely adored it. The amazing, creative fabric treatments, the radical re-silhouette-ing, the undiluted Miuccia-ness of it all. I so want to be Miuccia Prada when I grow up.

Oh, there's more, of course, but that'll do for now. I'm just hoping I have enough time to check everything out. Who are you looking forward to seeing? And does anyone have a ticket to the Nina Ricci show they'd like to get rid of?

Photos: Style.com