Vrooom!

I can't stop giggling.



These shoes are by Nascar. That's right, the race car people. It's not actually a bad shoe, in theory. Your basic black patent pump. But the devil, as you know, is in the details:



Subtle, non? There's even a little surprise on the bottom of the shoe:



This one is actually quite cute:



Little pink patent & suede ballet flats -- who doesn't love that? But again, you must pay close attention:



My question is, who are they making these shoes for? Because, not for nothing (and please don't bother to scold me for my ignorance of Nascar Culture -- that's the way it is and the way it's going to stay), but the photos I've seen of most Nascar fans don't... exactly... scream "Fashionista," if you know what I mean.

Let's face it, we're talking about a lot of denim cut-offs and bad perms.

Now, I am not here to redress the fashion crimes of a million screaming people with gimme caps on their heads (would that I could!). I'm just wondering about the marketing gee-nee-uss who came up with these things. Did someone in some Nascar meeting somewhere pop up and cackle, "The women's dress shoe market is ripe for the picking!" while rubbing his hands together in Snidely Whiplash-esque evil genius glee? I guess these shoes are for the Nascar fan for whom the pajamas, socks, hats, t-shirts, jackets, sweatshirts, handbags, and jewelry aren't enough. I guess these are for the fan who says to herself, "I want to tastefully proclaim my love for all things Nascar." And I suppose I should be grateful for that, because there are Nascar Crocs out there, my friends.



See? That's not the worst shoe I've ever seen, not by a long shot. That's a shoe that you wear when you go out salsa dancing with your dashing Nascar driver boyfriend after a long day at the track breathing in exhaust fumes & picking cinders out of your well-coiffed hair.

It is a slippery slope, however. And as you fall, you bounce past these questionable items:



then skid past these, covering your eyes:



opt not to grab onto these horrors even if it meant saving your life:



and finally land in the mud at the bottom of the hill:



Ow.

Photos: Zappos.com

Edit: Evidently my bloghero Manolo and I are on the same page: check out his take on this topic, published yesterday as well. Great minds and all that.